after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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