so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
