Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
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