I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
