Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
so much tequila, so little girl.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
