Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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