take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
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