Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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