Whod you bang
3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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