I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
