All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
