Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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