If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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