He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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