I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
