But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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