True but thats because hes a fetus.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
