im drinking this country out of the recession.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
