We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
