My Higher Power is John Stamos
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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