i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
We left the knife in your bed.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
