Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
