She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
