College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
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