K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
