we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
