So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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