So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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