erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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