Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
