i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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