She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
A bitchslap is in order.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
