Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
just found out that she named her cat after me.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Randomize
