I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
50% drunk capacity currently
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
