woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
