so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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