He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Jerry, you need to find god
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
nutella sex= disaster
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
