i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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