Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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