Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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