u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
