take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
