Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
