I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
So gin and wine won't be happening again
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
