so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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