just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
