where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Randomize