walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
