we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
