Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
